i still miss him

yess.. i still miss him

2days ago aku ttbe give up dgn ape yg die wat slama ni..sampai thp aku nk kene naik kl sorg2. and die nk bwk aku naik scooter. aku terus marah. mcane die lyn aku ni? nk uji aku?? stop it la dgn alasan tu. da byk kali kot die uji aku kononnya nk tgk kesetiaan la kesanggupan aku utk idup dgn die.nk uji aku smpai sanggup die gadaikan perasaan aku, smpai hati aku ni da luka byk kali.n aku majuk pn aku jugak yg dtg balik pd dia.. senang idop die n die boleh kata "my life is alwys easy". so mmg sah2 la aku ni mnyusahkan die mcm2. ive been waiting a long time to meet him. n mcm ni die lyn aku.

aku bru bc blog die. wtpe smua tu die tulis kt blog. die deal dgn ht dan perasaan aku. knape x face me x explain kt aku smuanya. npe nk keep uji aku dgn cra die. as a girl aku nk nmpk hala tuju hubungan ni. mmg aku nk someone yg sweet manjekan aku.. tp tu bkn priority. tp smpai thp smua bnde nk kutuk, smua bnde xamik pot..down x?

die bcinta dgn sorg doktor. workload yg dasat, keje penat, jp tdo siang jp tdo mlm, jp kene g situ g sna. aku perlukan ssorg yg sapotif. bkn someone yg keje asek nk uji aku time aku tgh2 serabut. n bile aku xleh wt, die just let me go, xpujuk xwtpape. dgn alasan allah tunjuk die itu ini. die? diam je biarkan org yg knon die syg ni tlepas. mcmtu ko syg? mcmtu die expect aku stay dgn smua prangai die. xkn aku nk kawen dgn org yg xsyg aku.fikir.

soal org ketiga.
hati aku bkn mcm die yg sng2 berubah. kelua mmg byk kali tp bkn bdua. aku cuba cari chemistry lpas mcm2 die wt aku. tp xde. npe msti die luahkn smua kt blog kt internet. explain to me. just say dont go n i wont go forever. bile da jd cmni die nk explain kt blog sape diri sebenar la ape la. dont expect me to read your mind n when i failed to do so die ckp aku gagal ujian die? hmm..

aku xpenah kisah die keje cleaner. aku penah bcinta dgn pnjual beger. xde hal. as long aku rsa bahagia. aku xgilekan duit die. aku sndri ade duit. die boleh assume mcm2. aku mtk duit die?xpenah. aku gilekan duit die? aku xpndg smua tu. knape aku nk bsusah payah pilih org jauh2..cleaner..ade fikir?aku bangun sbb die.he just cant ustand.

aku sedih, menangis. i just cant proceed. kalau die nk dera nk wt mcm2 buatlah. aku cume pmpuan biasa. ade impian dan keinginan yg sma mcm wanita2 lain kt luar sana. aku mmg xmampu diperlaku mcmni. bkn aku xcube besabar, bkn xpenah cube bertahan. tp mgkin dah sampai limit aku. tiap2 hari balik keje, penat. nk rilex, tp ape aku dapat? semua die xnak. aku tau kecewa. hati ni da luka byk kali, die expect aku btahan..sdgkn aku xpernah kecewakan die, tolerate mcm2. semata2 nk idop dgn die, tp ape die wt selain selalu bgtau bnde yg xmyakinkn utk ms dpn aku. n skrg ni airmta aku keluar lagi.. nthla. ape2la

aku gagal lagi..sory am.

Hawkeye and barnabas

Semalam tgk avengers. Dekat dataran pahlawan. Beli popcorn, mashed potato, and hotdog. Padahal sebelum tu da mkn nasi ayam. Sbb aku wajib mengunyah. Huhu. Well cter ni mmg ramai da tgk. Ramai ckp best2. Huhu aku yg lmbt nk tgk cter ni. Tp xpe dpt gk tgk semalam. dlm byk2 tu aku ske hawkeye. Aaaaaaaa mnjerit dlm ht je la everytime scene die. Macho. Stark ngn capt.amerika pn macho. Tp ht da tpaut kt hawkeye. Xsgka umur cmni pn tgk lagi cter superheroes ni. Averall mmg best. Berbaloi. And d day before aku tgk dark shadows. Reason: johnny depp. J.depp mmg terer bawak watak pelik2.scene die lawa2.. Tp aku minat dkat heroin die. Lawa. Bella heathcote. Nk ujung2 cter aku rsa da mrepek plak. Tu yg xbes. Tp tpulang la taste masing2..

miles away

long distance rship

 when i put myself in dis kind of rship..i didnt expect dat it will be easy. i always kno dat LDR is always complicated.

i love surprises, but in dis kind of rship..?i should expect less to avoid dissapointment. but dis doesnt mean i want to change my life. just need to understand dat it is hard to be done.

we never meet. sometimes i just dont understand dis feeling. a strong love for d one who is far awa

there are many things i wanted to do with him, unfortunately hes not around to make it happen. i tried to look for alternatives but it doesnt work as other partners. we only have internet. sometimes i just cant stand dis..

it takes a big effort to maintain d sweetness and not to let distance ruin dis rship. and now hes in d middle of problems and i cant do anything to help him. rase useless. hes miles away. hope if we have any misunderstandings, we never let d day pass without dealing with it. i want to share evthg with him. sometimes i keep little issues to myself but it's really not a good feeling to have. even he replied "lol" to my problem, it was ok.

i love d part when both of us can straight to each other, we say it and talk about it. there is no reason why i cant win dis rship.

far away

however far away, i will always love u

tanami dgn muar jauh ke? hmm...

am..

im in love...

it has been a mth since aku kenal die. honestly he is my strength now. he is my first thought when i wake up and last thought before i sleep :)


he put the blue back in the sky..and now there's colour everywhere.
hmm..although it happened instantly, who cares.. i shared evthg with him.
oh god..i love this feeling
now i have a hand to hold, reason to believe.
i smile everyday.

am am am

Gile

Hubungan aku trlalu komplikated. Kdg2 smpai thp aku rs nk mati.bnde ni mmg aku amik serius. Bkn main2. Aku da puas pikirkan. Smpai thp aku da x bole bfikir. Aku bkn jnis folo d flow. Aku nk satu plan yg psti. Pstu sma2 usaha ke arah plan tu. Aku xpunye byk ms utk korbankn lg jiwe aku. Aku da xde jiwe sbnrnye. Jiwe yg mati. Mgkin xde sape fhm ape aku tulis ape aku nk. Npe hidup aku pnuh dgn dugaan2 mcmni. Knape aku yg dtmptkn dlmn kdaan yg aku totally rs aku xmmpu. Hidup ni kdg2 xadil. Tp sape aku utk mmpersoalkn smuanya yg sbnrnye dh lma trtulis jln cerita hdup aku di luh mahfuz.

Aku kne lalu. Smpai msa ubah sgla2 nya.

puas hati aku

hari ni aku puas hati sgt..
☾˙❀‿❀˙☽